God is at Our Core

I have continued, naturally, in studying and pondering on the true self within each person. I can feel and know that we are made of th same substance of the gods, the immortals and then we are offered an opportunity to associate with them, and our true selves as we uncover the veils and blocks between. God is at our core. Love. Peace. Bliss. Every attribute of God is already within. We choose if we will identify with that or with the false, egoic self. 

"Each moment, each instance, we have a choice of how to react or how to act. Being Spiritually Aware is about being conscious of that choice at each moment and how to be true to our deeper selves as much as possible. We all sometimes react badly, we will all at one time or another react from stress, frustration or upset. However, when we are aware of it, when we can sense it rising within us, we can remind ourselves to act from a place of love. Sometimes it is logical to be angry, sometimes frustration seems like the only path to take, yet when we chose to see through the eyes of love and do the most loving action we open our hearts and minds to different options and other doors always open up to let the sun shine in. (from Intentions for the Spiritually Aware Parent- coming soo

That is the Goal

After tonight's positive birth group, which is always inspiring, I have been deep in thought with this concept. Women often say that they "lost it" after transition, that their peace and quietness was "lost" once they hit that deep, primal place. They usually say this in a negative way that they couldn't keep their "cool" together so they some how failed. Well no! The facilitator then said emphatically "THAT IS THE GOAL! THAT IS THE ACHIEVEMENT! ITS ALL ABOUT GETTING YOU TO A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN LET IT ALL GO!" When we get to that point is when things begin to shift and power residing within begins to roll forth. We begin to step into our true, primal seat of power. Amazing. At this point sometimes women groan, dance,  sway, sing, open, something inside is guiding and lifting them. 

Then...

She said, " when you fight the instincts, that is when you suffer." When the birthing woman resists these urges, or when fear masks and suffocates them then pain and suffering become experienced. 

I. Just. Love. This. This concept applies to everything. Everything in our lives is gracefully getting us to the point where we can let it all go when we can open and surrender. Then and only then can this bold, vibrant, primal, true self come forward. There is strength in surrender, strength in our seemingly brokenness. It take courage to release and witness this emerging goddess. We are strong and powerful, full of wonder and awe. Do not fear the breaking open, the stretching, the heat, the change, the discomfort of the emerging truth and beauty that we are. 

Breath is a Bridge

"Our breath is like a bridge connecting our bodies and our minds. In our daily lives, our bodies may be in one place and our minds somewhere else—in the past or in the future. This is called a state of distraction. The breath is a connection between the body and the mind. When you begin to breathe in and out mindfully, your body will come back to your mind and your mind will go back to your body. You will be able to realize the oneness of body and mind and become fully present and fully alive in the here and now. You will be in a position to touch life deeply in the moment. This is not difficult. Everyone can do it."

Meditation for Trust in God

"Without feeling the loving holding of the universe, we can have no basic trust. How can you really let go and let yourself be if there isn't trust that things are fundamentally okay, that whatever happens is appropriate? If we don't have this trust, we are constantly scared, tense and fighting reality - inner and outer. If we have this trust, we can interact with everything exactly as it is - Let it in, Let it out, Let it go, Let go of letting it go and Let it be. "~ Gabrielle Roth, 5Rhythms

All is just, all is right within this kind and loving universe. Breath in. I trust God. Breathe out. I release any fear or inhibition keeping me from reckless abandon to Gods perfect will of love and life. It is ok to feel uncomfortable, awkward, inconvenienced, pained, or difficulty even when I am aligned with God's perfect will. Suffering can be turned into sacrifice through joyful surrender to God. This is the path Jesus showed, and invites us to sojourn on. This is the path of ascension. This is the path I choose to walk. Lord show me the way. Open my heart, my navel, my throat,  my eyes and mind that your love, your spirit, your will, may flow through me freely. Deepen my roots and connection to thee. For the short while that I am here, may I be fearless in my joyful surrender to thee. I am willing and ready to abide by your love. I lay aside all to follow you. 

Meditation for present moment acceptance

After attending a positive birth group where the group participated in a "Your Healing Place" meditation, I was deeply enlightened at a simple aspect of the guided meditation. The group was a large group of women, a few babies and some men. Instead of being inhibited by the lack of a quiet environment the teacher stated in the meditation "everyone you hear a baby noise, you will relax  10 times more." And it worked. With each external noise the mind was cued to relax farther. The noises were actually helping attain an inner healing place. This was life changing. Instead of trying to eliminate external chaos/disturbance so that we can have "inner peace" we can use the external chaos and disturbance to ascend to higher levels of blissful unity with God. So I wrote out a daily vision to read that would help me stop painful resistance to life, to allow life experiences to be just as they are, and to use those "disturbances" as the very tool to find the peace. So here it is...

"The various sensations and experiences of mortal life arise in and around me. These feelings and experiences allow me to deepen my inner knowing and connection to truth, to feel greater expansion and union with the universe, to prove that love is what I want most, and to connect with what and who I really am-a divine spiritual being within the paths of eternal progression. It is okay to feel what ever arises in the present moment. I feel many sensations deeply, but know that I am something much deeper and eternal. Feelings are fleeting, I am eternal. Whatever arises in my experience from moment to moment, I will open myself to love and truth, planting myself again into the loving universe.  Within every space, there is a place of softening. I allow myself to experience the depth and breadth of what is before me, knowing that these sensations and feelings flow, they do not last.  My power and purpose is found and realized in every moment, especially the apparently difficult ones. Each sensation and wave of experience from moment to moment provides the environment for me to ascend higher. "

Decided on Love

This afternoon during my meditation I renewed my focus on listening and obeying my inner voice. The light within all of us is from Christ. Christ says that he is the true light that is within all of us. This inner voice is always a voice of love. I, so far in my journey relate to God, understand God, and have experienced God as LOVE. The descriptions of Love in the scriptures are plentiful. Patient, kind, submissive, meek, humble, etc, etc.  all these qualities are strong and courageous. It takes more wisdom, more strength, more resolve to be loving than to be whatever the natural man desires in every moment, especially in defining moments. I have decided on love. I have decided on following than inner voice of love. It is a decision. In each moment I choose love, and in every circumstance the way that love is manifest is different, depending upon what the voice says. 

Sometimes love speaks, sometimes it holds the tongue. That inner voice of love has directed me through many different experiences, from daily and mundane, to overwhelmingly large and drastic. And I know that love never fails. If you choose to hold to Love, it will not fail you. It is an oasis amidst external turmoil. It is a solid foundation. It is a clear view of things, of people, of situations as they really are. It is God, both male and female. Their love is what gives life to all things. Love is the creative power that brings order and harmony to all. Love cannot fail, will not fail. When you become decided on love, you find an anchor, a compass, a map, a direction, a center and source of unshakeable peace and joy.

 I have given myself over to love, I have been won over by love. Each moment I breath I decide to continue to give myself over to love, to be own over by love. It is a continual path I have decided to choose. And it is oh so beautiful, messy, courageous, difficult and easy all at the same time. Love is what I seek, what I am,  and what I love. I am decided on love. 

Beauty in all of it

Sam's face was tear stained, snotty and tired. I had to wrestle and gently talk to him to get his pajamas on. He was done with today. Wanting to go to bed. I was doing my best to do so. As I watched those crying eyes turn in to still, sleeping ones I had a wave of emotion wash over me. Laying by his side, all he wanted was to snuggle by me. His little hands wrapped around my neck, clasped with some of my hair within his little fingers. His breath slowed and with each exhale hot breath flowed onto my cheek. In the craziness of daily life amidst the tantrums and trying to figure out what is for dinner, I find some of the sweetest and most rewarding moments. Here in this moment everything is right. Right as it should be. Even in the chaos. I find when I, as the mother, am reliant and close to jesus, it doesn't matter what crazy events happen to me or my kids, but everything is as it should be. I find such stillness and satisfaction in doing and experiencing the daily seemingly unimportant tasks. When I don't resist what is, but love myself and others through ALL, then there is an accompanying peace and deep satisfaction. It is my desire to be there, be present, and  be loving in every experience that crosses my earthly path through motherhood and discipleship. I want to feel, hear, experience the subtle whisperings of joy even when my 3 year old is having a bedtime meltdown. I want to be there, in a loving present awareness for each earthly experience I am given. It all is a gift. It truly is. 

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